**Aug 2, 2015
**As a part of Guru Purnima celebrations, Sir had suggested me to a play Malkauns. I was prepared with Sthai + Antara + Taans + Jhala. But I was weak on the alap front. Even though the alap was less than a few minutes, my fingers were not locating the right notes. Sir was overall happy with other aspects of my play. He corrected the bol of one particular taan, asked me to switch off tabla during the jhala mode if I wasn’t comfortable.

**Aug 8, 2015
**There are a lot many things going on in my professional and personal front. A ton of uncertainty follows each day at office as well. In such circumstances, I think Sitar acts like a therapy. I practiced a lot on Aug 7, 2015, Friday. In the early morning on Aug 8, I went to meet Sir at one of his disciples place where he wanted to check my composition and correct for mistakes if any. I played the composition in front of Sir and he told me to skip alap for the event. It was a relief for me as I knew that many hours of practice were needed to play alap. May be someday I will get to playing alap. One thing is for certain, it will take a loooong while before I even get to play Okish.

I played at the Guru Purnima and I think it went fine. Some of the other disciples said it was nice. Most importantly Sir was happy.  Post the event I just rushed back home as I am completely uncomfortable at such social occasions. Dad encouraged me on the way back saying that I need to practice atleast an hour daily to even imagine a scenario that I will get good at it 10 years from now. I do not know where my professional life will take me, Nor do I know where my personal life is going to be. My only hope is that I get some time for Sitar. As things stand, there is a lot of flux around me and I need to decide quickly. Sometimes I feel I should not avoid uncertainty at all. After all, isn’t it going to be always there ? I should learn to thrive in it. Actually it all depends on how things turn out in the next few months. In any case, I will keep my Sitar practice going. After even if everything falls apart,  I can fall in to the arms of music and be at peace.